You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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