I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
