I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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