Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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