so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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