hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
you made out with another girl for some wings
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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