butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
