i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
