Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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