There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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