Please, let me fuck your mom
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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