It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
