3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize