I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
