i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just had sex bonerless
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize