So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize