If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
