yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
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A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
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nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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