all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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