he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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