You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
