Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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