FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
