oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
