I wannas sexs uuuuu
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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