Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
