Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
