their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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