Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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