I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
