peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
