i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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