I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he puts the penis in happiness.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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