So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
