Nicole vs. Life
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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