What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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