I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
