was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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