ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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