she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
