Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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