Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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