Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
