Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
