She announced her abortion via fbk
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
