bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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