I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
