no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
