How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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