is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think your dad took our porno
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
