I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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