I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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