She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
