Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This baby is an asshole
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
