we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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