i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.