He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat