i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just found puke in my bra..
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I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
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I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.