if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina