So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.