Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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