Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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