Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
