Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
