im about as happy as oj after his trial
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize