I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
